I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize