Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
