Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
