I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
