Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
