Can i not drive my cunt home
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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