If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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