I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize