operation have a gay friend backfired
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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