Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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