Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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