Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize