just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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