I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
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