they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
