oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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