if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Oh god it's open bar.
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