Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
