The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
