I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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