cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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