then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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