So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am midnight drunk by noon
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
