God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
