my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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