Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
