mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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