Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
