I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
