therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Pooping to opera.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
