She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
