Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
