I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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