Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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