I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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