So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
