i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Randomize