.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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