I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
