Whod you bang
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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