Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
