It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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