how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
