my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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