just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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