He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
