I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
