Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
