im gay
i know
yea but for you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
