Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
