Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
operation harelip BJ is a go
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
