you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
