elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
