I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can you bring me the toilet please
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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