Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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