i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize