As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
